Way too preciously said.

I used to be like this…

Then I met a girl…

She was like this…

Together, we were like this…

I gave her gifts like this…

When she accepted my proposal, I was like this…

I used to talk to her all night like this…

And at the office I used to do this…

When my friends saw my girlfriend, they stared like this…

And I used to react like this…

But on Valentine‘s Day,
she received a red rose from someone else

And she was like this.

And I was like this.

Which later led to this…

and this…

I felt like doing this…

I started doing this…

Now look at me.

DAMN GIRLS!

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A man, his bike, and his chick.
It just doesn’t get any better that this.
Never underestimate redneck ingenuity.

  I’m pretty sure they’re heading toWal-Mart

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Below are four ( 4 ) questions and a Bonus question  to test your perception, reasoning and the quickness of your logical processing.
They are stated simply so you should try to answer them instantly.  
To assure the accuracy of the results, you  should not take your time ,
but instead, answer each of them immediately .

OK?
 
Let’s find out just how clever you really are….

Ready? GO! (scroll down slowly to uncover Qs and As )

First Question :

You are a participant in a race. You overtake the second person.
What position are you in?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Answer : If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely WRONG!

Try not to screw up next time. Now answer the second question,

 but don’t take as much time as you took for the first question, OK?

Second Question :

If you overtake the last person, then you are…?
(scroll down)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Answer : If you answered that you are second to last, then you are  ; ; ; ; WRONG again.

 Tell me Sunshine, how can you overtake the LAST person?

You’re not very good at this, are you?

Third Question :

 Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only…

Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator
Try it..


Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000 Now add 30 . Add another 1000 . Now add 20. Now add another 1000 . Now add 10 . What is the total?

Scroll down for the correct answer…..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Did you get 5000 ?

The correct answer is actually 4100

If you don’t believe it, check it with a calculator!

Today is definitely not your day, is it ?

Maybe you’ll get the last question right… Maybe…

Fourth Question :

Mary’s father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini,  4.. Nono, and ???

What is the name of the fifth daughter?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Did you Answer Nunu? NO! Of course it isn’t.

Her name is Mary - read the question again!

Okay, now the Bonus round,  i.e., a final chance to redeem yourself:

A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush.

By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.

Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s really very simple 
He opens his mouth and ask for it…
Does your employer actually pay you to think?
If so Do NOT let them see your answers for this test!

PASS THIS  ON TO FRUSTRATE THE
SMART PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE! Have a nice day, one and all.

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INTERESTING CONVERSATION

An Atheist Professor of Philosophy was speaking to his Class on the Problem Science has
with GOD, the ALMIGHTY.  He asked one of his New Christian Students to stand and . . .

Professor :   You are a Christian, aren’t you, son ?
Student    :   Yes, sir.
Professor :    So, you Believe in GOD ?
Student    :   Absolutely, sir.
Professor :    Is GOD Good ?
Student    :    Sure.
Professor :    Is GOD ALL – POWERFUL ?
Student    :    Yes.
Professor :    My Brother died of Cancer even though he Prayed to  GOD to Heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But GOD didn’t. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?

(Student was silent )

Professor :   You can’t answer, can you ?  Let’s start again, Young Fella. Is GOD Good?
Student    :   Yes.
Professor :   Is Satan good ?
Student    :   No.
Professor :   Where does Satan come from ?
Student    :   From . . . GOD . . .
Professor :   That’s right.  Tell me son, is there evil in this World?
Student    :   Yes.
Professor :    Evil is everywhere, isn’t it ? And GOD did make everything. Correct?
Student    :   Yes.
Professor :   So who created evil ?

(Student did not answer)

Professor :   Is there Sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the World, don’t they?
Student    :  Yes, sir.
Professor :   So, who Created them ?

(Student had no answer)

Professor :  Science says you have 5 Senses you use to Identify and Observe the World around you. Tell me, son . . . Have you ever Seen GOD?
Student    :  No, sir.
Professor   :  Tell us if you have ever Heard your GOD?
Student    :   No , sir.
Professor :   Have you ever Felt your GOD, Tasted your GOD, Smelt your GOD? Have you ever had any Sensory Perception of GOD for that matter?
Student    :   No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t.
Professor :   Yet you still Believe in HIM?
Student    :   Yes.
Professor :   According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn’t exist.  What do you say to that, son?
Student    :  Nothing.  I only have my Faith.
Professor :  Yes, Faith.  And that is the Problem Science has.

Student    :   Professor, is there such a thing as Heat?
Professor :   Yes.
Student    :   And is there such a thing as Cold?
Professor :   Yes.
Student   :   No, sir. There isn’t.

(The Lecture Theatre became very quiet with this turn of events )

Student    :   Sir, you can have Lots of Heat, even More Heat, Superheat, Mega Heat, White Heat, a Little Heat or No Heat.
But we don’t have anything called Cold. We can hit 458 Degrees below Zero which is No Heat, but we can’t go any further after that.

There is no such thing as Cold. Cold is only a Word we use to describe the Absence of Heat. We cannot Measure Cold.
Heat is Energy. Cold is Not the Opposite of Heat, sir, just the Absence of it.

(There was Pin-Drop Silence in the Lecture Theatre )

Student    :  What about Darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as Darkness?
Professor :  Yes. What is Night if there isn’t Darkness?
Student    :   You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is the Absence of Something You can have Low Light,   Normal Light, Bright Light, Flashing Light . . .

But if you have No Light constantly, you have nothing and its called Darkness, isn’t it? In reality, Darkness isn’t. If it is, were you would be able to make Darkness Darker, wouldn’t you?
Professor :   So what is the point you are making, Young Man ?
Student   :   Sir, my point is your Philosophical Premise is flawed.
Professor :   Flawed ? Can you explain how?
Student    :   Sir, you are working on the Premise of Duality.
You argue there is Life and then there is Death, a Good GOD and a Bad GOD. You are viewing the Concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure.

Sir, Science can’t even explain a Thought. It uses Electricity and Magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one.

To view Death as the Opposite of Life is to be ignorant of the fact that Death cannot exist as a Substantive Thing.
Death is Not the Opposite of Life: just the Absence of it.         Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your Students that they evolved from a Monkey?
Professor :   If you are referring to the Natural Evolutionary Process, yes, of course, I do.
Student    :   Have you ever observed Evolution with your own eyes, sir?

(The Professor shook his head with a Smile, beginning to realize where the Argument was going )

Student    :   Since no one has ever observed the Process of Evolution at work and Cannot even prove that this Process is an On-Going Endeavor.  Are you not teaching your Opinion, sir?

Are you not a Scientist but a Preacher?

(The Class was in Uproar )

Student    :  Is there anyone in the Class who has ever seen the Professor’s Brain?

(The Class broke out into Laughter )

Student    :  Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor’s Brain, Felt it, touched or Smelt it? . . .

No one appears to have done so. So, according to the Established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that You have No Brain, sir.
With all due respect, sir, how do we then Trust your Lectures, sir?

(The Room was Silent. The Professor stared at the Student, his face unfathomable)

Professor :   I guess you’ll have to take them on Faith, son.
Student    :  That is it sir . . .  Exactly ! The Link between Man & GOD is FAITH.  That is all that Keeps Things Alive and Moving.

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