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Something to give you a proper running leap into 2010.

As the great Foghorn Leghorn said – Sharp as a bowling ball.

If you hesitate in your thinking on any of these…………..you may be a statistic.

NEW YORK – resident Kathy Evans brought humiliation to her friends and family
when she set a new standard for stupidity with her appearance
on the popular TV show, ‘Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.’

Evans, a 32-year-old wife and mother of two, got stuck on the first question
and proceeded to make what fans of the show are dubbing ‘the absolute worst use
of lifelines ever.’ After being introduced to the show’s host
Meredith Vieira, Evans was posed with a typically easy initial $100 question.

The question was: ‘Which of the following is the largest?’

A) A Peanut
B) An Elephant
C) The Moon
D) Hey, who you calling large?

Immediately Mrs. Evans was struck with an all consuming panic as she did not
readily know the answer. ‘Hmm, oh boy, that’s a toughie,’ said Evans,
as Vieira did her level best to hide her disbelief.
‘I mean, I’m sure I’ve heard of some of these things before,
but I have no idea how large they would be.’

Evans made the decision to use the first of her three lifelines, the 50/50.
Answers A and D were removed, leaving her to decide which was
bigger, an elephant or the moon. However, faced with an incredibly
easy question, Evans still remained unsure.

‘Oh! It removed the two I was leaning towards!’ exclaimed Evans.
‘Darn. I think I better phone a friend.’
Mrs. Evans asked to be connected with her friend
Betsy, who is an office assistant.

‘Hi Betsy! How are you? This is Kathy! I’m on TV!’ said Evans,
wasting the first seven seconds of her call.
‘Ok, I got an important question. Which of the following is the largest?
B, an elephant, or C, the moon. 15 seconds hun.’
Betsy quickly replied that the answer was C, the moon.
Evans proceeded to argue with her friend for the remaining ten seconds.
‘Betsy, are you sure?’ said Evans. ‘How sure are you? Duh, that can’t be it.’

To everyone’s astonishment, the moronic Evans declined to take her friend’s
advice. ‘I just don’t know if I can trust Betsy. She’s not all that bright.
So I think I’d like to ask the audience,’ said Evans.

Asked to vote on the correct answer, the audience returned 98% in favor of
answer C, ‘The Moon.’ Having used up all her lifelines,
Evans then made the dumbest choice of her life.

‘Wow, seems like everybody is against what I’m thinking,’ said the
too-stupid-to-live Evans. ‘But you know, sometimes you just got to go with
your gut. So, let’s see… I’m going to have to go with B, an elephant. Final answer.’

Evans sat before the dumbfounded audience, the only one waiting with bated breath -
and was told that she was wrong, and that the answer was in fact, C, ‘The Moon.’

Caution…they walk among us!

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This one is equally unbelievable. (No comments needed!)

They Walk Among Us!

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Some guy bought a new fridge for his house.
To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a
sign on it saying: ‘Free to good home. You want it, you take it.’
For three days the fridge sat there without anyone looking twice.
He eventually decided that people were too mistrustful of this deal.
So he changed the sign to read: ‘Fridge for sale $50.’

The next day someone stole it!

They walk amongst us!

—————————————————————————–

One day I was walking down the beach with
some friends when someone shouted….
‘Look at that dead bird!’
Someone looked up at the sky and said…’where?’

They walk among us!

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While looking at a house, my brother asked the
estate agent which direction was north because
he didn’t want the sun waking him up every morning.
She asked, ‘Does the sun rise in the north?’
My brother explained that the sun rises in the east
and has for sometime. She shook her head and said,
‘Oh, I don’t keep up with all that stuff….’

They Walk Among Us!

———————————————————————————

My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria,
when we overheard an admin girl talking about the
sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach.
She drove down in a convertible, but said
she ‘didn’t think she’d get sunburned
because the car was moving’..

They Walk Among Us!

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My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car
which is designed to cut through a seat belt
if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.

They Walk Among Us!

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I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman
with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain.
My friend said, ‘Ouch! The chain must rip
out every time she turns her head!”
I had to explain that a person’s nose and ear
remain the same distance apart no
matter which way the head is turned…

They Walk Among Us!

——————————————————————————-

I couldn’t find my luggage at the airport baggage area and
went to the lost luggage office and reported the loss.
The woman there smiled and told me not to worry
because she was a trained professional and
said I was in good hands. ‘Now,’ she asked me,
‘Has your plane arrived yet?’…
(I work with professionals like this.)

They Walk Among Us!

——————————————————————————-
While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man
ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and
the cook asked him if he would like it cut
into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time
then said ‘Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don’t think I’m hungry
enough to eat 6 pieces.

They Walk Among Us!

And last, but not least:
Dumb as a box of Rocks

A VERY GOOD EXAMPLE OF THE KIND OF REPRESENTATION WE HAVE IN CONGRESS, TRUE STORY:

A noted psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an academic function where Nancy Pelosi happened to appear.

Ms Pelosi took the opportunity to schmooze the good doctor a bit and asked him a question with which he was most at ease.

‘Would you mind telling me, Doctor,’ she asked, ‘how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?’

‘Nothing is easier,’ he replied ‘You ask a simple question which anyone should answer with no trouble.

If the person hesitates, that puts you on the track.’

‘What sort of question?’ asked Pelosi.

Well, you might ask, ‘Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?”

Pelosi thought a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, ‘You wouldn’t happen to have another example would you?

I must confess I don’t know much about history.’

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About 6 months ago a news program covered a story on oil and one of the Forbes brothers was the guest. This is the actual question as asked. The host said to Forbes, “I am going to ask you a direct question and I would like a direct answer; how much oil does the U.S . Have in the ground.” Forbes did not miss a beat, he said, “more than all the Middle East put together.” Please read below.

The U. S. Geological Service issued a report in April (’08) that only scientists and oil men knew was coming, but man was it big.  It was a revised report (hadn’t been updated since ’95) on how much oil was in this area of the western 2/3 of North Dakota, western South Dakota, and extreme eastern Montana …. Check THIS out:

The Bakken is the largest domestic oil discovery since Alaska ‘s Prudhoe Bay, and has the potential to eliminate all American dependence on foreign oil.  The Energy Information Administration (EIA) estimates it at 503 billion barrels. Even if just 10% of the oil is recoverable… At $107 a barrel, we’re looking at a resource base worth more than $5.3 trillion.
 

‘When I first briefed legislators on this, you could practically see their jaws hit the floor. They had no idea.’ says Terry Johnson, the Montana Legislature’s financial analyst.

‘This sizable find is now the highest-producing onshore oil field found in the past 56 years’ reports, The Pittsburgh Post Gazette.  It’s a formation known as the Williston Basin , but is more commonly referred to as the ‘Bakken.’ And it stretches from Northern Montana, through North Dakota and into Canada . For years, U. S. Oil exploration has been considered a dead end.  Even the ‘Big Oil’ companies gave up searching for major oil wells decades ago. However, a recent technological breakthrough has opened up the Bakken’s massive reserves….. And we now have access of up to 500 billion barrels.  And because this is light, sweet oil, those billions of barrels will cost Americans just $16 PER BARREL!
 

That’s enough crude to fully fuel the American economy for 2041 years straight.

2. And if THAT didn’t throw you on the floor, then this next one should – because it’s from TWO YEARS AGO!
 

U. S. Oil Discovery- Largest Reserve in the World!
   Stansberry Report Online – 4/20/2006 

Hidden 1,000 feet beneath the surface of the Rocky Mountains lies the largest untapped oil reserve in the world. It is more than 2 TRILLION barrels. On August 8, 2005 President Bush mandated its extraction. In three and a half years of high oil prices none has been extracted. With this motherload of oil why are we still fighting over off-shore drilling?
 

They reported this stunning news: We have more oil inside our borders, than all the other proven reserves on earth. Here are the official estimates:
-  8-times as much oil as Saudi Arabia
- 18-times as much oil as Iraq
- 21-times as much oil as Kuwait
- 22-times as much oil as Iran
- 500-times as much oil as Yemen
- and it’s all right here in the Western United States .

HOW can this BE? HOW can we NOT BE extracting this? Because the environmentalists and others have blocked all efforts to help America become independent of foreign oil! Again, we are letting a small group of people dictate our lives and our economy…..WHY?

James Bartis, lead researcher with the study says we’ve got more oil in this very compact area than the entire Middle East – more than 2 TRILLION barrels untapped.  That’s more than all the proven oil reserves of crude oil in the world today, reports The Denver Post.

Don’t think ‘OPEC’ will drop its price – even with this find?  Think again! It’s all about the competitive marketplace,  it has to. Think OPEC just might be funding the environmentalists?
Got your attention/ire up yet?  Hope so! Now, while you’re thinking about it …. And hopefully P.O’d, do this:

3. Pass this along. If you don’t take a little time to do this, then you should stifle yourself the next time you want to complain about gas prices — because by doing NOTHING, you’ve forfeited your right to complain.
Now I just wonder what would happen in this country if every one of you sent this to every one in your address book.
By the way…this is all true. GOOGLE it or follow this link. It will blow your mind.
http://www.usgs.gov/newsroom/article.asp?ID=1911

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DID YOU KNOW?

As you enter the Supreme Court courtroom, the Two huge oak doors have the Ten Commandments
Engraved on each lower portion of each door.

DID YOU KNOW?

As you sit inside the courtroom, you can see
The wall, right above where the Supreme Court
judges sit, a display of the Ten Commandments!

DID YOU KNOW?

There are Bible verses etched in stone all
over the Federal Buildings and Monuments in
Washington , D.C.

DID YOU KNOW?

James Madison, the fourth president, known as
‘The Father of Our Constitution’ made the
following statement:

‘ We have staked the whole of all our political
institutions upon the capacity of mankind for
self-government, upon the capacity of each and
all of us to govern ourselves, to control
ourselves, to sustain ourselves according to
the Ten Commandments of God.’

DID YOU KNOW?

Every session of Congress begins with a prayer
by a paid preacher, whose salary has been paid
by the taxpayer since 1777.

DID YOU KNOW?

Fifty-two of the 55 founders of the
Constitution were members of the established
orthodox churches in the colonies.

DID YOU KNOW?

Thomas Jefferson worried that the Courts would
overstep their authority and instead of
interpreting the law would begin making law
an oligarchy the rule of few over many.

How then, have we gotten

to the point that

everything we have done

for 232 years in this

country is now suddenly

wrong and

unconstitutional?

Lets put it around the world and let the world
see and remember what this great country was
built on

I was asked to send this

on if I agreed or

delete if I didn’t.

Now it is your turn….

It is said that 86% of

Americans believe in God.

Therefore, it is very hard

to understand

why there is such a mess

about having the Ten

Commandments on display

or ‘In God We Trust’

on our money and having

God in the Pledge of

Allegiance.

Why don’t we just tell

the other 14%

to Sit Down and

SHUT UP!!!

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Fun facts from Infection Control During an hour’s swimming at a municipal pool you will ingest 1/12 liter of urine.

Annually you will shake hands with 11 women who have recently masturbated and failed to wash their hands.

Annually you will shake hands with 36 men who have recently masturbated and failed to wash their hands.

In a year you will have swallowed 14 insects – while you slept!

In an average day your hands will have come into indirect contact with 15 penises (touching door handles,etc)

An average person’s yearly fast food intake will contain 12 pubic hairs.

In a lifetime 22 workmen will have examined the contents of your dirty linen basket.

At an average wedding reception you have a 1/100 chance of getting a cold sore from one of the guests.

Daily you will breathe in 1 litre of other peoples’ anal gases.

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